Some Days He’s Remo, Next Day Anniyan: Anupama Parameswaran On Narcissistic Abuse

Anupama Parameswaran has opened up about two years of narcissistic abuse in a past relationship, saying the experience left her emotionally and physically drained before she finally found the strength to walk away and heal.

In an interview with Dhanya Varma, Anupama said there were “two years of pain, physical and emotional destruction” behind her recent Instagram post. She explained that she did not share it immediately because she needed time to understand what had happened and regain her voice.

The actor said watching an Instagram reel in which actress Madonna Sebastian spoke about narcissistic abuse deeply affected her. She said she started shaking because she could recognise many of the experiences being discussed.

Anupama said she gradually began losing her sense of self during the relationship. “I started to shrink,” she said, adding that she lost a significant amount of weight during that period. She also said people close to her noticed that she had become quieter and withdrawn.

One of the most striking parts of the interview came when Anupama used a popular Tamil film reference to explain the behaviour she experienced.

She referred to Anniyan, the 2005 Tamil psychological thriller directed by Shankar and starring Vikram. In the film, Vikram plays Ramanujam, also known as Ambi, a mild mannered man who develops different identities, including Remo, a charming fashion model, and Anniyan, a violent vigilante. The film presents these personalities as sharply different sides of the same character.

Using that reference, Anupama said her former partner could be completely different from one day to another. “Some days he’s Remo, next day Anniyan,” she said.

In simple terms, Anupama was describing a relationship where she felt the person could be loving and charming one moment and harsh or frightening the next. She said apologies and promises would follow, only for the same cycle to happen again.

Anupama also revealed that the relationship affected her career and personal choices. She said she had turned down several film opportunities and questioned why she was not present for promotions of Dragon, despite the film's success. She also spoke about restrictions around her clothes, photographs and social media activity.

She said marriage discussions had also moved quickly, with the families meeting and engagement talks beginning within months. However, Anupama said she eventually decided against the engagement.

The actor has not named the person involved. Her comments have nevertheless renewed speculation around her previously reported relationship with actor Dhruv Vikram. The two were linked while working on Bison Kaalamaadan, but neither publicly confirmed their relationship.